Dr. Kaufman

Dr. Buckhead Kaufman, also known as Baldy, Buckhead, or Dr. Horny, was a outstanding pistol marksman. Take his word for it, ya?'''

If you read ahead, you can also learn how to be a pistol marksman. If you take his word for it ya, you can experience the Nihilus underworld. Look to the picture to your right. You can see the bastard pointing a gun and smiling like a retarded flatheaded grizzly bear. If you come see this treacherous Dr. Kaufman with a naked eye, you can guess that he is just a harmless one-eyed bandit. He also carries a gun. It's small, but particularly dirty. But it isn't that crap gun "Walther PPK" He also appears a guy of frenzied medicine. He is especially good at a celebrity overdose. He can possibly be the suspect who had killed the singer, Michael Jackson er...uh beat it.

Tomorrow Never Dies
You may have seen the 1997 Bond film, but when the bald-headed Doctor came in the scene, he said he had a "clear shot" at Mr. Bond's head. He didn't say those exact words. Read this bull crap below and refer back to the movie. And yes, the movie was censored.

Dr. Kaufman: "I have a clear shot at your ass, Mr. Bond. Stand up slowly, lay on the bed, and I'll strip for you, ya?"

Dr. Kaufman: " This story will be on the gay channel in an hour."

James Bond: "Tomorrow's news today."

Dr. Kaufman: "No shit."

James Bond: "It won't look like a suicide issue from over there"

Dr. Kaufman: " My name is Dr. Kaufman. I am a outstanding pistol marksman. Take my word for it, ya?

Dr. Kaufman: " My nuts are a great demand, Mr. Bond. They go all over ze world. I am especially gay at this celebrity overdose."

Mr. Bond: "I know it won't look like a suicide issue if I take my gun and shoot you form over there."

Dr. Kaufman: "I am also a professor of a forensic medicine. Believe me, Mr. Bond I can pistol whip-shoot you from shutcock, con still create ze proper effect."

Bond: "I don't suppose we can just talk about this."

Dr. Kaufman: "She struggled terribly, Mr. Bond. It's a pitty you got her involved in all ziths. But now I'm afraid, Mr. Bond we are going to have a little.....aahhhh Stamper!.... stop yelling in my ear, ya?

Stamper: "Sir, they can't get into the car."

Dr. Kaufman: "Oh, shit. You can't be serious. Did you call ze sexy auto club?"

Stamper: "Do you want to call them, you gay fuck? Make him tell him how to open the car."

Dr. Kaufman: "Oh, okay. I ask..... this is very embarrassing. It seems there is a red box in your ugly car. Zhey can't get to it. They want me to make the sexy you to open the car. I feel straight. I don't know what to say..... I am to seduce you if you if you don't do it.

James Bond: " You have a doctorate in that too?"

Dr. Kaufman: "Oh, no. This is more like a hobby. But I'm very gifted in doing it."

James Bond: " Oh, I believe you. My cell phone opens the....

Dr. Kaufman: "Oh, no, no, no Mr. sexy. I do it, ya?"

James Bond: " Recall, three. Send.

Dr Kaufman: " Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ohhhhh............. wait! I'm just a fruit topping doing a job."

James Bond: " Me too."

In the movie
This is what It'll sound like if you watch the DVD release movies.

Dr. Kaufman: "I have a clear shot at your head, Mr. Bond. Stand up slowly. Drop your gun con take it toward me, ya?"

Dr. Kaufman: "My name is Dr. Kaufman. I am an oustanding pistol marksman. Take my vword for it, ya?

---

Dr. Kaufman: "She struggled terrablly Mr. Bond. It's a pitty you gots her involved in all zthis."

James Bond: "It won't look like a suicide issue from over ther."

Dr. Kaufman: "I am a professor of ferensic medican. Believe me, Mr. Bond I can shoot you from shutcock, con still create ze proper effect.

Dr. Kaufman: "My art is a great demand, Mr. Bond. I go all over ze world. I am especially good at ziths celebrity overdose.....but now I'm afraid, Mr. Bond, zhats are little...........ahhhhhh! Stamper!.....stop yelling in my ear, ya?

Stamper: "Sir, they can't get into the car."

Dr. Kaufman: "Oh, you cant be seroius. Did you call ze auto club?"

Stamper: "Do you wan't to call them? Make him tell him how to open it."

Dr. Kaufman: "Oh, okay. I ask......this very embarrassing. It seems there is a red box in your car. zhey cant get to it. They want me to make you how to open ze car. I feel like an idiot. I dont kn ow vwhat to say......I am to torture you if you dont do it."

James Bond: "You have a doctorate in that too?"

Dr. Kaufman: "Oh, no, no, no, no. Zhis is more like a hobby. But imvery gifted."

James Bond: " Oh, I believe you....my cellphone opens the.....

Dr. Kaufman: "Oh, no. Mr. Bond, I dohit, ya?"

James Bond. Recall 3. send.

Dr. Kaufman: "Reaaaaaaaaaaa! ohhhhhhhhh.........wait! I'm just a asshole doing a job."

James Bond: "Me too."

Unidentified Gunman?
This mysterious man fagot was unidentified in the film, Tomorrow Never Dies when the media mogul Eliot Carver explained to the inventor of a techno-terrorism, Henery Gupter that he should set up a appointment with his wife at the doctor. You find more. jean-quie